6 Tips For A Successful Co-Parenting Christmas
One of the most challenging events following a divorce is the first co-parenting Christmas. But while it will be a strange and a new experience for everyone, it doesn’t have to be difficult.
Here are our top tips to help you have a successful co-parenting Christmas.
1. Put Your Child’s Needs & Wants First
The most important thing to remember when co-parenting at Christmas is to always put your child’s needs and wants first.
Depending on their age, your child might be more worried about whether Santa knows where they’re going to be on Christmas Day than which parent they’re spending it with. Be aware of this and manage their expectations accordingly.
While you’ll both inevitably want to be with your child on Christmas Day, consider the practicalities, and what will work best for you all. That might mean sharing the day, or having two Christmases on separate days. Think about what will work best for your child and the logistics of the day, then you can present a united front and make appropriate plans centred around your child.
2. Make Plans Well Ahead Of Time
Don’t leave your Christmas co-parenting plans until the last minute. Doing so will almost certainly see someone end up disappointed and this is especially upsetting if it’s your child.
Plan your co-parenting Christmas well in advance and leave nothing to the chance. Make sure everyone knows their duties and that arrangements have been put in place to facilitate the plan.
Discussing everything early also allows more time to calmly reach compromises — something that isn’t always possible at the last minute.
3. Be Responsive & Communicate Effectively
Hopefully, you’ll have both agreed that your child should come first. Nevertheless, it can be hard to stifle your feelings at what is an emotional time anyway.
During every conversation you have with your former partner, remember that you’re both putting your child first. Consider what’s best for them and be diplomatic in your communications. If you sense that a disagreement is brewing, suggest talking another time. This is particularly important if your child is around.
Also, try to be responsive. If your former partner wants to talk to you about Christmas arrangements, make some time for them. Ignoring their requests or being hard to get hold of won’t help anybody — least of all your child.
4. Don’t Forget The Grandparents
It can be easy to get caught up in your co-parenting Christmas plans and forget about the other people who should definitely be considered, especially your child’s grandparents.
Try to make arrangements for your child to see all their grandparents at least once over the festive period.
Christmas Eve and Boxing Day are both special too and you could even use one of them as an alternative Christmas Day with the grandparents.
5. Avoid Having A Christmas Gift Competition
You and your former partner both want to see your child happy at Christmas. Discuss gift plans with your former partner. Agree who will buy what to prevent duplicate presents and also ensure one of you doesn’t go overboard.
It might be the case that your child wants one larger present. If so, talk to your former partner and see if you can purchase it between you.
6. Be Realistic
Finally, be realistic with your co-parenting Christmas expectations. It’s going to be different. But it can be better, particularly if the last few Christmases were marred by a difficult adult dynamic between the two of you. So embrace the change as much as you can. Be realistic but also approach this Christmas with optimism and it will be infectious.
Try to continue any Christmas traditions that your child has grown to love. But if you can’t, look to make some new ones that you can all enjoy for years to come.
By putting your child first and planning ahead of time, there’s no reason why your first co-parenting Christmas can’t be your best yet.
If you have more questions about this topic or any other legal issues arising on divorce or separation, please do get in touch as we are always happy to help. You can call us on 0203 488 4475 or email contact@thedivorcesurgery.co.
Author Name: Editor
Published content by The Divorce Surgery Editorial Team.
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