Do You See Divorce As A Shared Problem?
The real difficulty with divorce is that you start from a place of emotional distance. You may be reeling from the end of a relationship you didn’t see coming. So it’s natural to want to put your defences up.
Now it may be that you are in a situation where you aren’t safe. If your former partner is an abuser, please know that you cannot work together. Contact the police and get independent legal advice from a solicitor- the Courts are there to protect you.
Thankfully most couples aren’t in situations of abuse, they’re just navigating the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with the ending of a long-term relationship. And those instincts of cutting yourself off will not serve you well when it comes to the legal process. So if that is the headspace you are in right now, acknowledge it and get some emotional support, there are lots of options out there.
If you can approach the legal and financial decisions which come from divorce together, with a cool head, you will navigate them far more quickly, with much less stress, and for a fraction of the cost, than if you treat it as a fight. There are no winners and losers on divorce. Family Judges make sure of that. Because at the end of the day, which it comes to any financial agreement you reach, a Family Judge has to approve it’s fair for the family as a whole. So focussing on what’s in your individual best interests is starting from completely the wrong point. You should start with this question: What is fair for both of us and any children we have? You probably need some legal advice to answer that question. Most of the time you will each come to different conclusions. That’s normal. One of you is not right and the other is not wrong. You just have different perceptions and priorities. So you need to know how a Judge would look at it. And you can find that out, together, from an impartial lawyer you both instruct (and for a fixed fee). You can control your divorce, but you need to see it for what it is: a shared problem to overcome.
If you have more questions about this topic or any other legal issues arising on divorce or separation, please do get in touch as we are always happy to help. You can call us on 0203 488 4475 or email contact@thedivorcesurgery.co.
Author Name: Editor
Published content by The Divorce Surgery Editorial Team.
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