Ask any family lawyer if they’d want to go to court to resolve the arrangements for their family and you’ll very quickly see how much they’d want to avoid it. For some, Court is inevitable. If your safety is at risk, or your former partner is determined to hide assets from you and the court process, then you will need a Judge to intervene. But those cases thankfully are rare. Most couples end up in court, not because they need to be there, but because they can’t find another way through.

If you’re starting the process now, or are mid-way through a divorce and court proceedings are looking more and more likely, how do you avoid them? Communicate. You need to find a way to bridge the gap. For some, that means couples engage in counselling to talk through the emotional fallout first. For others, it means sitting down with an independent financial advisor together to work what there is in the pot, what your mortgage capacities are and how everyone’s needs can be met. Joint legal advice may help, particularly if you don’t know what is legally fair or have very different perceptions of what fair looks like. If you’re clear on what’s legally fair, think about mediation, or co-parenting support. Just get talking. It takes two to settle.

And bear in mind these words from the President of the Family Division (the most senior Family Judge in England and Wales):

“Cases of straightforward relationship dysfunction, not involving abuse or a need for protection, should not need to come before a magistrate or judge for resolution. Indeed, because, for this group of cases, the issues concern matters of emotion and psychology, a court is most unlikely to be the best place to achieve any lasting resolution. The court, with its clunky legalistic approach, will undoubtedly produce a result which may then have to be imposed upon the parents, I would suggest, for this substantial group of cases, the court process is not one that either adds value to the welfare of the child or is in any way beneficial for the parents. In some cases, it may simply provide a pitch and a referee for them to play out further rounds in their adult contest.”

If you have more questions about this topic or any other legal issues arising on divorce or separation, please do get in touch as we are always happy to help. You can call us on 0203 488 4475 or email contact@thedivorcesurgery.co.uk.

Author Name: Editor

Published content by The Divorce Surgery Editorial Team.

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