First Christmas As Separated Parents?
It’s normal to find it hard, it’s normal to find it overwhelming, the more you can plan and prepare, the better.
Christmas is an emotionally loaded time of year. Nobody lives a ‘Hallmark’ life. And yet, once a year, when the days are short, dark and chilly, we are expected to be permanently jolly, with ‘magical moments’ at every turn.
With such unrealistic expectations, it’s easy to feel you are falling short. And if it’s your first Christmas since separating, it can make an already emotional time feel completely overwhelming.
The best way to navigate your first Christmas post-separation is to prepare for it. If you have children, think carefully about how you are going to manage their time. What will work best for you all? Some parents live close to each other and so it works for the children to move between their parents on Christmas Day. Some parents decide that the first Christmas they want to spend the day together. Try to anticipate how you might be feeling over the Christmas period. Are there times you’re going to be alone when you wouldn’t usually?
Think about making plans with friends, or even just a date with a binge-watchable TV series. Prepare your children- talk to them (together if you can) and include them in your plans – they may have some good ideas and many children love the excuse for a double celebration. Don’t assume this Christmas will be worse because you are separated – for many parents being apart is so much better if the atmosphere between them has been miserable.
Don’t feel guilty if you are relishing the prospect of a Christmas apart- embrace the new opportunities it brings. And if you, or your children, feel anxious about the prospect of this new Christmas dynamic, please reach out for help. There are some truly excellent divorce coaches and co-parenting experts who can give you all the emotional support you need.
If you have more questions about this topic or any other legal issues arising on divorce or separation, please do get in touch as we are always happy to help. You can call us on 0203 488 4475 or email contact@thedivorcesurgery.co.
Author Name: Editor
Published content by The Divorce Surgery Editorial Team.
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