What’s The First Question To Ask Your Family Lawyer?
What you’ll find, when you develop a relationship with your solicitor or barrister, is that they will come to know you very well. What makes you tick, what is important for you, what are your sensitivities. But they will only ever hear your perspective. It still shocks me sometimes to think that I can be on a case for months, even years, and never hear my client’s former partner speak until they get in the witness box at a final hearing. What this means is that your lawyers are trying to settle the case with only half the real picture.
What Harry and I have learned from advising couples together is that it puts you in a much better position to understand all the dynamics, and all the perspectives, which makes the route to settlement so much easier.
So if you are going through a divorce and have a family lawyer at the moment, helping you with the arrangements for your children or division of your finances, try this at your next meeting. Ask to explore what advice your former partner will be getting. Set out the way you think they view the divorce, and how they will describe the situation to their lawyer. Obviously, you may not agree with that, but you know better than anyone what their perspective might be. And then get your lawyer to tell you what advice they’d give on those facts.
Suddenly, you’ll have a fuller picture. Divorce is a process, and you don’t have to be a passenger in it. There is never just one legally fair answer- there is a range. So the sooner you know what that range is, you can start to see where compromises can be made. It is pointless if you and your former partner hang on at the extreme edges of fairness- the only way that leads is to an expensive and drawn-out court process, where a Judge will ultimately take all control away from you. So get informed, as early as you can, about the whole picture, not just the one you see.
If you have more questions about this topic or any other legal issues arising on divorce or separation, please do get in touch as we are always happy to help. You can call us on 0203 488 4475 or email contact@thedivorcesurgery.co.
Author Name: Editor
Published content by The Divorce Surgery Editorial Team.
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